I recently found some crushed Kleenex tissues in my father’s vest, the one he wore in March of this year.
I recently found some crushed Kleenex tissues in my father’s vest, the one he wore in March of this year. My mother sent me the vest after his death, hoping I would wear it. It’s too large for me, even though I am taller and heavier than my father. Finding the tissues set off a chain of emotions. Something insignificant as old tissues presented the unbearable task of letting them go.
Wearing the vest while clutching the tissues in my hand inside the pocket, I walked some of the land bank trails near my family home on an autumn afternoon. My father was a short, larger-than-life, expressive and somewhat eccentric Iranian man (he called himself Persian) who landed on Chappaquiddick in the early 1970s with my mother. What are the chances that a man born in Tehran in 1932 would find this separate island, an outwash of an outwash? It seems almost improbable. When I think of his legacies, he made a positive imprint on Chappaquiddick. He accepted this adopted land and the people adopted him.
This summer was our first summer without him. There were other losses. No large gatherings or celebrations, no in-person Chappaquiddick Island Association meetings, no end-of-the-season party at Slip Away Farm, and my father’s bicycle remained unridden and stored inside. Many people shared their awkward condolences with me. It is something not talked about much, death, so I do my best to listen and thank those for the effort to say something. A couple of his friends made a more bold suggestion: encase his bicycle in bronze.
I cannot count how many people mentioned that they miss seeing “The Doctor” (one of his nicknames), with a beaming smile, riding his bright orange bike with a low seat. Someone once asked him what he was thinking about when he rode his bike, and he responded: “world peace.” I have come to believe that this was code for him. Riding his bike is where my father found his inner peace. Some would say he was in the zone similar to an athlete.
My father was a thinking athlete, a small man with a big vision. He immigrated to the United States at age 17 — with a suitcase, a passport, and a Persian-English dictionary that I have in my possession. His vision was to study medicine and become a doctor.
He harbored a deeper vision — he wanted to improve the lives of others. He did not talk much about his prior life in Iran with me, but thankfully he wrote a memoir. As his cognitive abilities declined, he talked more about the loss of his mother. At age 12, he was by her side when she died. I feel that experience haunted him. As an immigrant he brought his stories with him. Part of his healing was to recreate a summer retreat on Chappaquiddick similar to where his family spent holidays outside of Tehran. Chappaquiddick became his Shemiran, a summer escape on the slopes of the Alborz Mountain in Iran.
I have boyhood memories of my father, my mother, two sisters and family dog all squeezed in a 10-foot Cape Dory sailing dinghy. None of us knew how to sail. We would brave our way across Katama Bay. It might as well have been the same as crossing the Atlantic Ocean. And that is exactly what my father did. He landed in Baltimore, requesting to study at Johns Hopkins, not knowing English. With such an unusual request, I’m certain the dean had no choice but to say yes.
I believe there are two types of visionaries. One seeks self-aggrandizement. The other wants to make the world a better place.
My father was the second kind.

Comments
What a great story! He passed
Mary Bell Nyman Boulder, ColoradoWhat a great story! He passed his vision on to his son.
Thanks -- such a beautiful
Ginny Jones WTThanks -- such a beautiful tribute to a man who was, by all measures,a real treasure. I am sure that the relationship with Chappy was very synergistic and that yes, perhaps the bike should be in someway preserved to serve as part of his memorial.
A very touching tribute to
Vincent DiRocco SalemA very touching tribute to your dad.
Well said.
A heartfelt article about
Andrew McCloy Peaks Island, MaineA heartfelt article about life and loss in this strangest of years. Cam is a good friend, and I had the pleasure of getting to know Dr. Adibi these past few years. He was a wonderful man with a big heart and an enduring vision, one that could help humanity during these troubled times. Cam has captured his father’s spirit here.
A lovely, moving tribute to
Rachel S. West TisburyA lovely, moving tribute to you father. I didn't know him and don't venture to Chappy often, but he sounds like a wonderful man. Thank you.
We remember your dad - his
Don McLagan ChappaquiddickWe remember your dad - his bicycle, his tennis and his (secret) salad dressing.
Nicely written and well
Lionel Spiro ChappaquiddickNicely written and well deserved tribute, Cam.
His memory is a blessing for
Stephen and Sally Jones Fortlouis Wilmington, NCHis memory is a blessing for all who knew him. His spirit is inextricably intertwined with Chappy. He was a type of human being now in short supply - a Mensch.
The best memorials make
Mer D'EspoirThe best memorials make strangers wish they had been friends. I'm sorry, having read your essay, to not have known your father. He sounds like my own: a man small in stature, immeasurable in intellect and imagination. After witnessing the horrors of Korea in his youth, he chose teaching as his ministry for lifting humanity. Fourteen years after his death, I still have a question for him every day. My condolences to you and your family on your loss.
Thank you Sea of Hope
Camron MarbleheadThank you Sea of Hope
What a beautiful tribute Cam,
Thomas Bena ChilmarkWhat a beautiful tribute Cam, thanks for sharing that.
Cam, I only met you parents
Ann Graham Manchester VermontCam, I only met you parents once-- introduced by Jane Dean. But I heard countless stories about how lovely your Dad was and your Mom is. Thank you for sharing your memories so memorably. Ann Graham
My friend, Cam,
Joan Guarente Danvers, MAMy friend, Cam,
Thank you for your heartfelt words. What a beautiful message....still waters run deep!!
God bless us all,
Joan G
What a beautiful tribute, Cam
Linda Vadasz WTWhat a beautiful tribute, Cam. May his memory be as a blessing. I didn’t know your father, but have come to know and love your mother as a fellow member of the Peter Luce Play Readers.
Well Done !!
Mike Murphy Ct.Well Done !!
Cam is a fine young man and
James McCloy Pigeon Cove, MassachusettsCam is a fine young man and good son. I knew "The Doctor" for a short period of time. Siamak impressed me as a visionary whose lifetime was spent in the pursuit of peace. He left his memories riding a horse in the mountains of Iran for riding a bicycle along the pathways and roads of Chappaquiddick. His vision as a peacemaker has now been achieved. He's made his passage.
Cam - what a terrific tribute
Jed Edgartown & BrooklynCam - what a terrific tribute to your father.
I knew your family 30+ years ago when I worked on the Chappy Ferry and remember Dr. Adibi's warm personality back then! And your family's great Jeep.
May your father rest in peace.
I did not know your dad
Michael Hennessy cambridgeI did not know your dad passed Cam. Very Sorry. Will always remember the man well. Please send my love to your mom and sisters.
Thank you for sending me this
Joan Newland Longwood at Oakmont, Past Chappy personThank you for sending me this beautiful memoir, I often think of Siamack when I'm remembering the wonderful days we spent on Chappy and also the night at the P.G.C. when he spoke after dinner about his life.It was all very special.
I missed seeing your father
Mary Ross Lexington, MassI missed seeing your father this summer. Having spent the past 17 summers with my family on Chappy, I was always buoyed by his steady, peaceful, riding. Though I didn't know Dr. Adibi personally, his example inspired me to make time to exercise and find peace (the latter an easy thing to do in the woods and on the beaches of Chappaquiddick.) Thank you for writing this lovely piece. Your dad truly made an impact by example.
Add new comment