I am the cemetery walker. This is not a grim or macabre title. Rather, it’s one of the most spiritually connected aspects of my life.
I am the cemetery walker. This is not a grim or macabre title. Rather, it’s one of the most spiritually connected aspects of my life.
Every morning after dropping my daughter off at school I take a brief stroll around the Abel’s Hill cemetery in Chilmark. It’s always quiet among the headstones. Other than the shriek of a hawk or the distant rumble of car wheels on South Road, the graveyard is silent.
The cemetery is unique. Right up front is the faux gravestone of the late comedian John Belushi. Most locals know he’s buried elsewhere, yet this prominent spot serves as a decoy for curiosity seekers and boisterous fans who litter the shrine with beer cans, nip bottles and scraps of paper littered with quotes from his films. The site is meant to be a raucous cheer to a wild-eyed hero, but I see it as a somber mark of a brilliant life cut short in a tailspin of drugs and emotional chaos.
Right around the corner is the gravesite of dramatist and screenwriter Lillian Hellman, the New Orleans native who, along with her romantic partner Dashell Hammett, was blacklisted from Hollywood during the anti-communist fervor of the 1950s. Her gravesite has a curious array of coins on it: quarters, dimes, a single nickel. I have no idea what this means, but someone took the care to place them neatly.
Further into the cemetery one sees the faded, moss-stained headstones of 19th century Island families: Mayhews, Vincents, Tiltons, Cottles. Other familiar names abound: Flanders, Hancocks, Murphys, Larsens.
These walks are solitary. In over a year I’ve yet to encounter another soul at this morning hour. As I reach the half-way point, there is a section where figures who populated much of my life are laid to rest. I pass by a pair of headstones indicating Mr. and Mrs. Jenkinson, the elderly couple who drove students home from the Chilmark School in the late 70s in their station wagons, the town’s quaint version of a school bus system. Stan Hart’s grave brings to mind the joyful way he’d shout “Eddie!!!” when he’d see my father and the way these two longtime friends would embrace. For years they were tennis partners and once hosted The Stan and Ed Show on WMVY, speaking on-air with Mike Wallace, Art Buchwald, Walter Cronkite and other seasonal residents.
Some headstones are more recent. I pass by Kristen Maloney’s, remembering how she’d host Stories and Songs at the Chilmark Library. Six years ago I sat in the circle with my two-year-old daughter on my lap, joining other families as we sang together. And then there’s Bette Carroll, the gracious, warm soul who seemed to embody the best of Chilmark with her kindness, grit and unrelenting focus on family and community. I remember her funeral service in 2015, when the pastor said it would be difficult to imagine a Chilmark without Bette Carroll. He’s right, yet we continue on. That’s the way of things.
Martha’s Vineyard has become popular in recent years in a way that was unimaginable 30 years ago when I was heading off to college in the midwest. Back then, my reply to the question “Where are you from?” was met with blank stares. Today I hear people talk about their visit to the Island being the highlight of the year. Those who move away find themselves drawn back. Those living here hold on amidst housing shortages and the exorbitant cost of living, often at great personal sacrifice. Everyone from CEOs and Hollywood luminaries to former Presidents of the United States seek out the Vineyard. For a while this puzzled me. There are thousands of beautiful islands around the world. What’s so special about this one?
I think the answer can be found in the cemetery. Martha’s Vineyard is more than a geographical place. It’s a people place. Those buried at Abel’s Hill lived lives similar to the granite headstones above them — sturdy, weathered and without a speck of pretense or varnish. Lives that may have been chipped and flawed, were also sturdy and reliable. This authenticity, increasingly rare in a loud, fast and garish world, draws people back to the Island. You can feel this spirit in every Island cemetery. The bodies have been laid to rest and the souls have moved on, yet there is a resonance among the tombstones. You have to be quiet, quiet as the stones themselves, but if you listen, it’s unmistakable.
Comments
Some of my fondest memories
Chris Lowe JC, NJSome of my fondest memories from my 2 years on the TPD in the mid '80s are being quietly parked in the middle of the night in the Oak Grove Cemetery, waiting on a call from 860
Very nice piece. My parents,
Matthew Cooper Menemsha/Washington DCVery nice piece. My parents, Dan and Bette Cooper, are buried at Abel's Hill.
Thanks for capturing the
Molly Conole OBThanks for capturing the spirit of these lives and this special island home so beautifully, Julian.
This is beautiful. Thanks
Harry Seymour Oak BluffsThis is beautiful. Thanks
I embraced this lovely
Roseline Glazer Chilmark, MAI embraced this lovely tribute to a wonderful resting place, where friends rest along with my husband, Dr. Bill Glazer, who was laid to rest over six years ago this past June.
When I visit, I often stop as well to leave a remembrance stone for Eleanor Pearlson and Julie Sturges, dear friends whom Bill and I missed together.
I tell off-island friends that we have no signs,
no gates, and no trash cans and that Abel’s
Hill is as welcoming for a visitor as it must be for those entering eternal rest.
I applaud our town and those who live here for maintaining such an extraordinary place.
Roseline Glazer
Beautifully stated Julian and
Carole Anne Pepe Branford CTBeautifully stated Julian and Rosalind.
Thank you for this piece.
Jane ChilmarkThank you for this piece.
My parents are buried at Abel's Hill and when I go there I see their graves, but also the graves of many of their long time Vineyard friends and remember how happy they were on the Vineyard in the days of yore.
Thank you for this touching
wendy chilmarkThank you for this touching piece. Some remarkable people have spent their lives in Chilmark. Many of them are missed by so many of us.
'A coin left on a headstone
Cynthia Thomas Vineyard Haven'A coin left on a headstone let’s the deceased soldier’s family know that somebody stopped by to pay their respect. Leaving a penny means you visited. A nickel means that you and the deceased soldier trained at boot camp together. If you served with the soldier, you leave a dime. A quarter is very significant because it means that you were there when that soldier was killed. So what happens to the coins after Memorial Day? It is collected and the money is used for cemetery maintenance, the cost of burial for soldiers.'
Love this, Julian.
Molly West TisburyLove this, Julian.
This struck a chord with me.
James (John) Davies The Villages, FLThis struck a chord with me. My family had a cottage in the Campgrounds for more than 35 years. I met my future wife (I was a "milkman" and she a chambermaid for summer jobs in College). She now rests in Oak Grove Cemetery in Oak Bluffs only a 20 minute from our former Cottage. I selected our gravesite because of the proximity of so many names from the Campground and the Vineyard I knew. Walking through that Cemetery is like being transported into the past of our Vineyard "family". Thanks for writing this piece.
Some years ago, I was walking
Alan Gowell EdgartownSome years ago, I was walking past the Belushi headstone with then superintendent Basil Welch. Basil stopped, brushed all the coins off the headstone (and into his pocket) and then replaced just one coin back on the stone. He was ready for my puzzled look and answered with one word, "Bait".
There is no place that is so
LBL. Vineyard HavenThere is no place that is so peaceful.
This is a beautiful piece! I
Kathy Aquinnah and IndianapolisThis is a beautiful piece! I too love walking through cemeteries and celebrating the lives of those who rest there.
I am always amused when
David Seward Vineyard HavenI am always amused when someone believes the old myth that John Belushi's remains are secretly buried elsewhere in the cemetery and the lot by the road side is a "decoy". Well, I am sorry to inform all those who believe this that it just ain't so. Now, how do I know this tale is false? This is the easy part. I was superintendent of the Abels Hill Cemetery from 1970 until 1985. Since John Belushi died in 1983 it was my responsibility to oversee his burial. At that time the cemetery commissioners required that all burial lot locations in the "new" section of the cemetery were not able to be chosen by the families. The lots were distributed in an orderly manner, each lot leased as the next in the row that was currently open for burials. Mr. Belushi's family was leased the next available lot on the side abutting the old cemetery. Due to the extensive interest in Belushi the number of people wandering through the cemetery increased dramatically. Maintenance became an issue and the possible harm to old gravestones was concerning. It was finally decided by the cemetery commissioners and the Belushi family that a more appropriate gravesite close to the entry road, and easily accessible, was the solution.
His remains were moved to the current lot by the entry road and a stone marker was installed. Reporters for the The National Inquirer arrived unannounced at my home soon after. They were so obnoxious I threw them off my property. They refused to believe the truth of the matter and fabricated the current myth. I guess the truth didn't help sell their "journalist" rag. In any case Mr. Belushi rests in peace on his lot beside the road and our centuries old burial ground remains intact.
My mother was born on the
Jeannie Little Compton, R.I.My mother was born on the island and we lived there for a short time when I was young. I have many relatives there still. I met John Belushi at an end of summer party when I was 17 during a visit with family. I have So many wonderful memories of being on the island and times shared with my family that lives there. Your writing has reminded me of those memories. Last summer I spent a day out on the island and visited some of the graves of my passed relatives. My memories are like headstones marking the lives of my ancestors that played a part in M.V. history. Some played larger rolls and some were more like extras in the background, but they all played a part and to me they all played leading rolls. At this moment, as I read your little story, I'm sitting at the beach down the road from where I live. I can see Martha's Vineyard from where I am sitting yet at this moment I've never felt so close to the family I have there. Thank you for bringing us closer for these few moments.. It has meant the world to me.
Julian, what a beautiful
Nancy Noble Gardner Oak BluffsJulian, what a beautiful piece. I feel as though I just strolled through Abel’s Hill. Thank you!
My husband and I fell in love
Diane Kretschmann ChilmarkMy husband and I fell in love with the Vineyard in 1977 at our first visit together, staying at the Beach Plum Inn. We decided to find a home for ourselves and Carol Feiner, innkeeper and newly minted real estate agent, located a fixer-upper on South Road. In 1982 we decided to move to an almost-finished construction on Fulling Mill Hill, designed and built by Otis Burt. When my mother died suddenly during the completion of our home, there was no doubt where she would be buried. We procured a plot in Chilmark Cemetery, a peaceful place where we loved to stroll among the headstones that Julian writes about so lovingly. Basil Welch prepared a beautiful cedar-branch-lined place to receive her ashes. And surprisingly, our family plot lies right near the lovely couple from whom we purchased our first home. We now visit every time we visit the island, walking the short distance from our home to what will ultimately be our final home, too. Every headstone tells a story and we are comforted to know that Chilmark Cemetery will always bring joy to those who take the time to learn them.
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