Albert O. Fischer

Still Carrying a Heavy Weight

I shut my P.O. box and take my mail to the table to weed out the junk mail. Among the many catalogues is a letter from the U.S. government with URGENT stamped next to my address.

I shut my P.O. box and take my mail to the table to weed out the junk mail. Among the many catalogues is a letter from the U.S. government with URGENT stamped next to my address. I open the letter and it states that I am being assigned to a second tour in Vietnam and am to report immediately.

I step out of the post office and there is a water buffalo across the street standing among the trees for sale at Vineyard Gardens. A B52 flies overhead and a Huey Gunship lands in Cronig’s parking lot. To be heard over the loud roar of the helicopter, a lieutenant screams at me to get my ass on the chopper. I struggle with my heavy rucksack, ammo and M60 machine gun. Was it all really this heavy 50 years ago?

I board the chopper along with four other comrades from the past. Wow, we have aged. The lieutenant is yelling orders that we will be landing in a hot zone and to expect enemy fire. After flying along the Mekong River, our gunship rises above a tall grove of bamboo trees and proceeds to land near a village of grass-roofed hooches. The pilot and flight crew yell at us to jump as AK47 rounds strike our chopper, and I can hear the thud sound of bullets hitting the person next to me. The chopper is still 20 feet above the ground, but we jump anyway.

I hit the ground and wake up in my bed this morning, in a full sweat with my heart racing.

I lie in bed with a cool breeze blowing in my face. Robins and cardinals are singing outside my window and crows can be heard in the distance. I wearily walk to the bathroom and step into the shower and think about how soldiers I know volunteered for multiple duty tours in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan. How did they do that, why did they do that? Returning to Vietnam is my worst nightmare.

I pour a cup of hot coffee and look out my window at my bird feeders and think it would be nice to see a hummingbird. I haven’t seen one yet this spring.

I take a sip of coffee and a hummingbird appears.

Comments

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 05/07/2018 - 17:42

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Peter Pfluger Vineyard Haven

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this concise, and surreal literary roller-coaster ride. Thank you Albert!.....Sweet dreams.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 03:27

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John Wiener Colorado

Thank you for this moving and important remark about what our defenders have experienced for such ephemeral political fantasies... May your healing be accompanied by a national recovery of sanity about the fallacies of violence and the blessings of respect for all of those who have given and suffered so much in the name of mistaken faith in the short-lived power of violence. Our fathers were friends, and I regret the loss of the family connection and the chance to offer you proper respect.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 07:02

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Rex WT

Albert,
Thank you for transforming the “service to our country” of going to war in Asia - to publicly sharing what it has left inside you, including the questions. I had never seen a hummingbird rest on a branch like I did for a long moment last week - also aware in that moment of inner turmoil that can be reactivated from my past experiences.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 07:47

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Barry Edgartown

I didn't know you, Albert, before I read this. Now I sort of do. I'm sorry that you went through all that bad stuff -- and that you are still going through it. It was very brave of you to serve -- and very brave of you now to share. Be well.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 07:56

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Aron Levy WT

Albert, I believe you should submit this piece to literary competitions. What an amazing piece of writing.

Stay strong. And thank you for such a moving experience.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 08:20

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SparklerMan West Tisbury

A Purple Heart worn above a heart of gold. Thanks for sharing...as difficult as it is. Thanks for your service ...as difficult as it was. And, thanks for giving us the the opportunity to sit and wait for the hummingbirds.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 09:11

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Tony Chianese Mendon MA

Bert I was a little disapointed that a deer did not show up at the feeder !

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 09:15

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Josh Wainwright Kentucky

A prime example of the Horror of War, and how War's effects NEVER leave us. Vietnam was especially heinous, in that it served NO PURPOSE,and killed do many beautiful Americans.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 11:27

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Kate H San Francisco

Reading this in an Uber ride to head back East for a graduation. I can imagine the peace in seeking a hummingbird on a beautiful Vineyard morning. I hope you see many more this season and thank you for sharing your story....it will stay with me all day.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 13:38

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Margaret Vero Beach

Thank you, Mr. Fischer. God is with you every day. He sent that hummingbird for you. :-)

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 15:38

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Michael OB

Just, WOW.
Thank you for your service.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/08/2018 - 16:55

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Thankful horse lover-- Seabeck,WA

My husband served in Viet Nam assisting the Navy on the Mekong Delta. Thankfully he came home safely and I was on Island with my parents and new puppies born in the closet! He continued to serve his county active Army and then RI Army Nat'l Guard. Retired at 60 and we relocated to WA State where our daughter is located. I still visit the Island every other year and glad I can do that along with Grandkids now.
Hummingbirds visit the feeder every day.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 05/09/2018 - 12:25

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Dawn Elise Evans Oak Bluffs

Thank you for sharing your touching essay. I am reminded how grateful I am to all our country’s vets and soldiers for their service and sacrifices. If only they could all find their way home to that singular moment when a humming bird hovers over bee balm, seeking nectar for its survival. An overwhelming thank you, Albert.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 05/09/2018 - 17:46

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jhk Edgartown

It has been 48 years for me, Albert, and your tale brought it all back in a flash. I will look for the cardinal that visits outside our kitchen window.
Thanks

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 14:13

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Keith Maciolek Stafford, CT

I perhaps have never read a more stunning ending sentence. Thank you for your duty to God and country and for the jolt that last line gave me.

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