Tony daRosa and Mike DeBettencourt are all smiles after the surgery.
Ray Ewing

Gift of a Kidney Bumps Son in Law Up to Blood Relation

When Oak Bluffs businessman Tony daRosa needed a new kidney he turned to his family. His son in law Mike DeBettencourt turned out to be a perfect, and willing, match.

It started with a little heartburn, in the fall of 2016. Oak Bluffs businessman Tony daRosa didn’t think much about it. It wasn’t bothersome enough to make him postpone a golf trip to South Carolina with his friends.

But when he returned to the Island that fall, he thought he had better get the heartburn checked out. His doctor ordered some blood tests, which he did one morning at the Martha’s Vineyard Hospital.

“Came back to work,” Mr. daRosa said. “They called me and said they wanted me to come back to do the labs again, they wanted to check something. From there they threw me in an ambulance and took me to Tufts.”

At Tufts Medical Center in Boston, doctors soon confirmed that Mr. daRosa’s kidneys were failing. They helped him establish the grueling routine of dialysis three times a week, and began to talk to him about a transplant.

Kidney issues began in fall of 2016.
Ray Ewing
Kidney issues began in fall of 2016.
Ray Ewing

The best solution for a kidney transplant is usually to find a live donor willing to give up one of their own kidneys. The body systems of most people operate just fine with only one functioning kidney.

Mr. daRosa turned to family and friends for donor candidates. He found plenty of support.

“We all went up, there was seven of us that wanted to test,” said Mr. daRosa. “That made me feel pretty good.”

It turned out Mr. daRosa was pretty lucky. His daughter Erin was a good match. But after she went in for more extensive testing, doctors decided against using her as a donor.

It turned out Mr. daRosa was even luckier than he thought. Doctors turned to the second donor candidate they found after preliminary testing, a very statistically unlikely candidate, Erin’s husband Mike DeBettencourt. He was a perfect match. The medical staff at Tufts told them they had never seen a donor match between a father in law and a son in law.

Tufts medical team said they had never encountered a match between a father in law and son in law.
Ray Ewing
Tufts medical team said they had never encountered a match between a father in law and son in law.
Ray Ewing

As the scheduled Dec. 12 surgeries neared, Mr. daRosa had the slightest of second thoughts.

“My numbers were going in the right direction, doing the dialysis,” said Mr. daRosa. “You have that thought of, maybe this isn’t necessary. But then they [the numbers] jump around, and I knew there was no way my kidneys were coming back.”

For Mr. DeBettencourt, who owns DeBettencourt’s Garage in Oak Bluffs, there was never a doubt.

“I was happy that I could help him and it was just a natural thing for me to do,” said Mr. DeBettencourt. “He’s my father in law, grandfather to my children, and father of my wife. To be honest with you, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I said, why not. I talked to all the people at Tufts. I was going to do it, no matter what, but they ease your mind even more. They tell you the statistics, they tell you it’s nothing more than a C-section. It was natural, I thought.”

Both men were released from the hospital after just a few days of recovery from the operation. By early January, both were back at their jobs feeling normal, with the exception of occasional fatigue at the end of the day.

Neither man is all that emotional about the life saving surgery. They speak in a humble, matter of fact tone about something many consider a medical miracle.

Mr. DeBettencourt said the only thing that makes him feel slightly uncomfortable is the number of people who shake his hand and call him a hero.

“I don’t consider it a heroic act,” said Mr. DeBettencourt. “I just consider it something that’s natural. My father in law needs a kidney, I’ll give him a kidney.”

Mr. daRosa’s reaction was both matter-of-fact, and heartfelt.

“Thank you, Mike,” he said.

Comments

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 01/04/2018 - 16:22

Permalink

Bob Mone West Tisbury

Everyone loves Tony and his extended family (Mike especially). I am so glad that Tony is on the mend and can get back to hosting Sunday golf at Farm Neck in the Spring. I know he can still shoot under par.
And a special thanks to Mike!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 01/04/2018 - 20:17

Permalink

Betsy Burmeister Vineyard Haven

Not surprised at all! Mike is a wonderful man, who goes out of his way to help other people. Of course, he would be there for his own family. Glad to see both are doing well.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 01/04/2018 - 23:58

Permalink

Gerry Fitzgerald Scituate & Edgartown

Best story ever !

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 08:03

Permalink

Julie and Dirk Higdon North Conway, New Hampshire

Tony D, and Mike D,
How awesome you both are!! We are so very glad Tony is on the mend, and thankful for a natural as Mike to be there for Tony.
A wonderful story of family love and Vineyarders coming together.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 09:19

Permalink

John and Jan wightman WT

Mike has been providing good will and replacement parts to friends, neighbors and customers forever....making sure their vehicles will continue to get them where they need or want to be. And, always with his gentleman’s unpretentious approach. Mike just took it to another level with Tony. Now, Tony is good for another 100,000 miles.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 13:54

Permalink

Paul Condlin Edgartown

You are a hero Mike and Tony D is a wonderful guy. So glad the two of you are on the mend. Hey Mike, got an idea for payback. Make Tony your “Goober” one day a week at the filling station. Just kidding.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 14:01

Permalink

Karen Selsey New York City/ Oak Bluffs

Mike is a lovely young man, his Father Nelson brought him up to be a son who you can be proud of. So glad both you and your Father In Law are doing well Mike

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 14:52

Permalink

Jim Pringle Vineyard Haven

On a very cold day its nice to have a heartwarming story. Kudos to both.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 15:46

Permalink

Katie Campbell Milo New York, NY

This is the best story ever!!!! What a way to start off 2018. We love Tony and the entire daRosa family. What a wonderful thing for Mike to do. Looking forward to seeing you all this summer. Xx

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 17:50

Permalink

Jeffrey Kramer Los Angeles

Kudo’s to you Mike! Tony has been my friend for over 40 years and I am truly grateful to you and for you that we will get to make him crazy for many more years to come.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 19:32

Permalink

Gabrielle Whitcombe West Tisbury

What a lovely story, Mike is very caring and generous. Amazing odds, what a miracle!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/05/2018 - 20:34

Permalink

Rose Cogliano Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts

Beautiful story. It is always wonderful to see family members love and help one another unconditionally.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 01/06/2018 - 17:09

Permalink

Liisa Brown Langley Edgartown

They are both stellar and classy men! Humble and Kind, this is a great example of family love, so glad it was written about!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 01/06/2018 - 22:11

Permalink

John Grandin Newton,MA and West Chop

Mike ..this is a great story. You are so humble and unassuming about it. Just as you are all the time. Nelson passed this on you. Congratulations to the extended DeBettencourt family and good health going forward.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 01/06/2018 - 22:18

Permalink

Celine Maney Johns Creek, GA and OB

My husband Charlie and Mike worked for Bill Anderson as teens at Anderson’s Bike Rental back in the early 80’s. He was a great guy then, and has proven it even more with this unselfish act. As a former kidney transplant RN, this brings me so much joy.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 01/07/2018 - 08:49

Permalink

Ken M Edgartown Ma. & Sanibel Fl

Mike DeBettencourt is a class act. Whether it is fixing our cars,watching Molly play sports or saving his father-in-law Mike always does it right. The island is blessed to have him.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 01/07/2018 - 09:07

Permalink

Tom M Aquinnah

Great Story!
DeBettencourt’s Garage in Oak Bluff's has a new customer. Me!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 01/07/2018 - 15:57

Permalink

Jim Dario Makonikey & Wellesley, MA

Mike, such a courageous & selfless act. I am humbled to know you, and so proud to call you my friend. Great to see that you & Tony are doing well!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 01/10/2018 - 06:05

Permalink

Gina Hayes Cape Cod MA

This family is such a class act! Mike is such an amazing humble man! Such a wonderful story to read amid all the turmoil in today's world. Bless both men. ❤️

Add new comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.