Ivy Ashe

Words Can Wiggle, But Can the Planet?

Phone booth, bookworm, crowbait, goose as a verb, horse-trading, horse-faced, cowpies or emotionally cowed, and other farm-based figures of speech like kicking the bucket are disappearing.

Phone booth, bookworm, crowbait, goose as a verb, horse-trading, horse-faced, cowpies or emotionally cowed, and other farm-based figures of speech like kicking the bucket are disappearing as anachronisms. Technology may shelve bookshelves, like radio and TV displaced the proverbial piano from respectable parlors, and reading the paper is not what people commonly do over coffee or on a park bench. Boys who try to neck or get to first base are not commonly called fresh, nor are their girlfriends expected to be modest as a rule; just sensible.

Buying the farm used to be another metaphor for death, like kicking over a (milk) bucket in hardscrabble days when being saddled with one could be a recipe for long-term misery.

Skyscraper affectionately described a momentously tall building back when the Midwest was considered America’s heartland, not fly-over country looked down at from 36,000 feet. Children digging a hole in the yard would be told if they dig deep enough they could reach China, not whiz there overnight on a credit card.

I once drove across the country in a Model A Ford manufactured some while before Pearl Harbor. So yes, my shelf life has almost expired. But I miss elm trees, box turtles, Joe DiMaggio and other commonplaces. Not Franco Spain, but greasy spoons. Not beanballs but Boston’s Splendid Splinter. We saw the sky’s menagerie of clouds and knew a ring around the moon presaged a trailing rain storm. The stars depicted a menagerie as well, and gas stations advertised a tiger in the tank. A bull in a china shop, a fox in a hen house, a wolf in sheep’s clothing described men not to be trusted, but on the other hand — looking at a child — great oaks from little acorns grew.

We were anchored by first-hand realities. Many of us had even handled anchors and knew the grip of running water. Our march on Washington in 1963 genuinely accomplished something, and service in the Army as a draftee a decade earlier had seemed for me to be a civic duty.

Ostriches didn’t actually hide their heads in the sand, but kids who procrastinated were told they did. A big fish was an important person, but if he got in trouble he clammed up. A man could be a shark or a mouse. Nature provided templates galore, from a shooting star to the fragrance of a basswood tree, Thoreau’s favorite and the sweetest in the woods. My grandmother, who saw electricity inaugurated in her town in Washington, always preferred daylight if it would serve, as I do. Electricity extends our activities, but does it improve them?

As we flood our planet, will we finish with as representative a complement of Earth’s other life as Noah did? Clip-clop, then full steam ahead with the choo-choo. Now flying machines hither and yon, unless, God forbid, somebody ran off the rails.

We still knew figures of speech like a fish out of water, cock of the roost, snake in the grass, a rat’s ass, weasely, eely, rabbity, chicken-livered, cat’s meow, birds of a feather and verbs like hawking or beavering. Camel’s humps, elephants trunks and crocodile tears enriched children’s books, plus eagle eyes and lions’ manes. But as technology upends mechanisms of delivery, must nature dwindle as an anchor in our culture too?

Footballs were called pigskins, remember, and baseballs were horsehide; not to mention the animal components in violins and pianos. Sky-blue contrasted with herringbone sky, striped with cirrus clouds, and at night the Big Dipper helped us locate the North Star; rather important to a traveler.

Homes used to have a barometer and thermometer outside to tell the weather by, and often a weather vane, even a rain gauge. Stepping out, you might lick a finger to see if the breeze was cold, from the north, or warm, from the south, or just the prevailing westerly gusts. Birds twittered, surf was surf and a mouse was a mouse.

I don’t mind new definitions if we don’t needlessly kneecap ourselves by chopping off nature. Will pollywogs survive, and do we care? In the last century, 1916 presaged an epoch of wars, as 2016 may be skidding us toward an era of climate catastrophes.

I love hippos, orangutans, goshawks and so on. But have they been displaced by fantasy characters? And will we thrive?

Lick your finger and hold it up.

Comments

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 02/05/2016 - 18:09

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Laura Maglio Sullivan Providence RI

Thank you Ted. Your Mother loved you so!!! You are greatly appreciated!!!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 02/05/2016 - 23:22

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Douglas Korves AIA Edgewater NJ

What is wonderful to remember, are the individual parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings using these expressions. I can see countless vignettes when my father, father-in-law would use just such an expression; hands coming out of pockets, brows being wiped, hats being taken off. Physical movement or a pithy explitive and interchange always accompanied the use of these words. It was usually followed by respectful thought and a studied response.

I'll be a monkey's uncle if I ever had such an experience as I type this comment on my iphone. I have never seen such an expression, or saw someone leap out of their union suit over any social media exchange.

I owe you a phone call Ted. Bet your bottom dollar on that.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 02/06/2016 - 10:48

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Elaine Boettcher Edgartown

Holy Mackerel, Ted. You sure let a lot of chickens out of the coop with this one. Wonderful.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 02/06/2016 - 13:50

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Ralph Colin East Dorset, Vermont

My school and college classmate and great friend, Ted, is the finest essayist on the planet today. Hands down!

If everyone on this sphere could read something written by Ted every day, this would be a far more peaceful world.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 02/06/2016 - 20:43

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Robin Tenny Exeter, NH

Laura said she wished she had seen elm trees around.I told her we had 2 or 3 on our land when we moved to Vermont, but they died. Frank, growing up in Japan, never thought that if he dug deep enough he could reach China. We have a piano in our parlor. I like electricity.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 02/07/2016 - 20:23

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island girl WT

How about all the sailing and maritime lingo? Three sheets to the wind, running downwind, a few miles to windward on that hull, she's hogged, and oh so many more that I can't remember at the moment. We are on an island, and should mix in a little salt!

islandgirl WT

Here are a few more: the bitter end, know the ropes, running free, jury rigged, scuttlebutt, broad in the beam and loose in stays, copper bottomed, the cut of your jib, taken aback.

Mr. H's essays and pieces are such a pleasure to read.

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