No, this is not a Valentine and you knew this was coming. It’s over. I’m leaving you, taking the noon ferry tomorrow. Let’s make it easy for each other. I’ll be on South Beach at dawn for our last goodbye.
Dear Martha:
No, this is not a Valentine and you knew this was coming. It’s over. I’m leaving you, taking the noon ferry tomorrow. Let’s make it easy for each other. I’ll be on South Beach at dawn for our last goodbye. You know where.
What a history, you and I! Remember The Winter Vineyard, my college thesis, in 1970? I fell in love with you through a camera lens, in the midst of that coldest winter in 50 years. Or all those years of running Martha ’72, on-Island or absentee. Or coaching soccer, photography for the Gazette, founding the Oar and Paddle Regatta, publishing Humanity, and now trying to end war (no less!). All these things fostered by your grace and grit, your sustaining embrace.
But you’ve changed. You’re not as much fun as when we met, no longer as warm or relaxed. You’re faster paced, crowded and even a bit self-important, distracted by adoration and celebrity. And way too expensive. You’ve become, in fact, high maintenance. It’s time to move on, old friend, to find another place to hold my heart.
You, of course, knew I would leave some day. You understood from the beginning that I was a man who demanded his own restless conversation with the world. I’m so lucky to be alive and healthy at 66. Now, as it did for Ulysses, that untraveled world gleams. I aim to explore the wildest horizons while I may, to maximize life with other friends. Imagine parting tent flaps in the early dawn to witness the ancient migration across the Serengeti!
How could you really miss me? After all, you have so many other admirers, ever in thrall to your sublime curves, to the mystery of your moods, to the sway of your landscape and the allure of your strand, to your unique Islandness — all of which you offer so easily every day.
So thank you, Martha. Yes, we were dreamers together, you and I, these past 44 years, but we did our best to keep a hard core of reality, to foster the possibility of a better life for all. So many friendships here, in fact, have a special, almost spiritual, overlay, so many relationships a ménage a trois with you.
Many others of course have tried and failed to leave, have come back to your inescapable charms. But for me, this is it, the end of a beautiful romance.
Tony
P.S. I was only teasing the other day when I called you “a drinking Island with a ferry problem.” Sorry about that. I know you took it to heart.
Tony Balis is founder and president of The Humanity Initiative. He lived on the Vineyard in 1972 and 1973, and year-round since 1994.

Comments
Sadly so many of us that grew
Marie Allen New YorkSadly so many of us that grew up and fell in love with "Martha" of the seventies have arrived at the same uncomfortable place, torn between the place we loved and the stark reality of these last years where so much of the island seems to be lost. Best wishes and bon voyage.
Tony - You miserable b**tard.
Martha Right HereTony - You miserable b**tard. Leaving me because I've changed, because I'm not who I once was, because I have so many admirers, because I'm no longer "warm or relaxed." What do you expect? You pimped me out in Conde Nast, in articles in the local paper - you forced people upon me. And now I'm no good enough any more and it's the end of a beautiful romance. You miserable b**tard. You are just like the rest of them, Tony. Leave me alone with what you've made of me. I hope you're happy.
Thanks, Tony
Mike Burke Delaware, OhioThanks, Tony
You have quite a turn of phrase! Just what I needed to fight the winter blues!
Cheers,
Mike
Well written, wonder where
Barbara New YorkWell written, wonder where you'll end next, a classmate of yours at The Hill, told me to read this and I read it out loud in a car ride and was wowed...and I'm a writer. Good luck in your new adventures!
Tony, you have impacted more
howdy russell jacksonvilleTony, you have impacted more than you know. I spent a summer in VH and the next in Siasconset on that other island back in 79 and 80. Martha 72 allowed me that time and experience. I refer to that experience practically daily. I have managed businesses, consulted for businesses, owned businesses, and taught continuing education classes for insurers. The fun, the hard work, the culture, the people, and island life find their way into my thoughts and decisions, constantly.
Back when I was 25, I was asked when would I know I was successful? At a million dollars, or a mansion in CA, or a Mercedes? My response has always been, "When, on a moment's notice, I can get back to the Island for a weekend and not worry about the costs." I am past that point now. But, I have not been back for fear of ruining the way I remember it all.
Thanks for Martha 72, thanks for those summer jobs in 79 and 80, and thanks for the moments I will always cherish.
Extremely, thankfully, yours
Howdy Russell
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